Evolution of Love

Marquez is a master of the minutiae of love. From the first two chapters the readers are given two perspectives of love—both in different stages of life and time. Love between the elderly is different love than between two young hearts and Marquez exquisitely expresses the difference.

Love between the elderly is out of comfort, security, and dependence. Fermina Daza and Dr. Urbino had been married for half a century when he accidentally died. In their elderly years Fermina had to dress Urbino every morning and while “at first she had done it for love,” later she was “obliged to do it” because the Dr. could no longer dress himself. She felt a motherly tenderness towards him instead of the fiery passion of youth’s love. I have seen and experienced that after the initial stages of passion, love evens out to a comfortable, protective form of caring.

The security a long life of love offers is the most reassuring feeling. One’s significant other because a constant in their life, something that should be unchanging. However, lovers can forget the value of this constant. As the saying goes, “You only miss something when it’s gone.” Fermina and Urbino’s epic fight over a bar of soap was their worst argument in fifty years of marriage. This battle almost separated them forever; however when their threats were close to becoming reality Urbino admitted his faults and confessed that “there was soap” at the fear of losing his other half. That confession was all Fermina needed to take him back into her heart.

The most endearing thought Fermina Daza had was after her husband’s death. She lay in bed as she always did with her husband, however this time “the weight of the other body on the other side” was missing. This detail wrenched my heart. The simple presence of a loved one’s existence is enough to send the heart and mind into a frenzy. But the absence of the weight of a loved one can do the same. After feeling Urbino’s weight on the other side of her bed for fifty years, its absence was a physical reminder that he was lost forever.

Although Fermina and Urbino’s love leveled out over the years and became a nuisance rather than a pleasure, Fermina “loved him despite all their doubts” and had an “irresistible longing to begin life with him over again so that they could say what they had left unsaid and do everything right that they had done badly in the past.” The sudden realization that a constant in one’s life is gone is like pulling a crutch from someone with a broken leg. My own experience with love and the loss of love makes this episode very relatable.

The second form of love presented is the love between new, young lovers. Fermina at the tender age of thirteen has no conception of the “love” between a man and a woman. She is endeared that a stranger loves her. The novelty of love is what really attracted her to Florentino. She was naive and easy to persuade, and so Florentino stalked and captured her heart. While Florentino serenaded her with his violin in the velvety darkness of night, her love was too idealized while Florentino’s love was too real. After their separation and anguish, Fermina and Florentino meet again. However at the mere sight of Florentino, a man she loved through letters and casual meetings, she “erased him from her life with a wave of her hand.” She dismissed his love without giving it a real chance. Their long-distance relationship, years of separation, and Fermina Daza’s growth and realization that one can be happy without love broke their relationship piece by piece. Like a crumbling wall, stones were slowly removed, till the entire structure came down with one swift end.

Not to delve too deeply into my personal life, I can say that my experience with love was eerily similar to what I have read so far. I’ve experienced the excitement of the novelty of finding love. I’ve experienced the comfort and security of (somewhat) aged love. And I’ve experienced the gradual loss of love as well as the rapid realization that a constant in my life is gone. Everyone encounters love in their lifetime and Marquez speaks the blunt language of the heart.
(722)

The Missing Link?

Jason taps into the deepest fears of his family members in order to gain control as well as money. Some argue that Jason’s lack of attention as a child is his reason for extorting money. Perhaps his insecurities and desire for attention and love have driven him to the point of swindling his only sister. Jason believes that one should never “promise a woman anything not let her know what I’m going to give her.” “That’s the only way to manage them…If you can’t think of any other way to surprise them, give them a bust in the jaw,” he said. His overruling desire to control—through money, verbal and physical abuse—cracks the fragile bond that holds the family together. While some may defend Jason, I have no sympathy for him.

Jason is hypocritical. He abuses the young Miss Quentin and accuses her of promiscuity, while he gave a woman forty dollars for her “services.” His constant pressuring of Miss Quentin upset her and eventually led to her running away. I was amazed at how similar Miss Quentin and Caddy are. Even though Quentin has grown up in a home where her mother’s name is never spoken, she inherited many of the feisty characterizes of her mother. Her passion for love, her unwillingness to surrender, and her defy-all attitude are reminiscent of Caddy. One wonders how she became so like her mother? Drawing on my evolutionary knowledge, I’m going to say that it was not just nature, but also nurture. The household and customs of the prestigious Southern family did not allow Caddy to follow her heart. Consequently, her daughter Quentin was raised in the same household. Unfortunately, she was brought up in worse circumstances than Caddy was. The two passionate souls were not welcome into a family of strict tradition and moral uptightness. Well, so much for that lesson on “focus.” Sorry, Raccoon, hopefully the rant was interesting.

Ahem, back to the topic. One of Jason’s worst moments was the way he treated Caddy. When Caddy, a mother who has not seen her daughter grow up, begs Jason to show Quentin to her, he does. However, even though Caddy pays him a hundred dollars, Jason gives Caddy a transient glimpse of her lost daughter. The connection between a mother and child is strong yet easily damaged. Caddy’s tie to Quentin has already been severed, along with her connection to the Bascomb/Comson family. By filling Caddy with false hope and failing to deliver her wish, Jason manipulates Caddy to a point of frustration. This event really touched me. I was surprised as the bitter attitude of Jason to his own “flesh and blood.” For some reason, either his nature or his nurture or both, Jason has become a heartless, money-obsessed man.

Jason’s womanizing, racist, controlling mania is sickening. Although he is the last remaining sibling, in my eyes, he is no longer part of the family. The usual bond of kinship to one’s relatives is not seen in Jason. If one does not love their family, than they are not part of it. So while he may be the last sibling standing, the family is far too fragmented and disjointed to ever be repaired. The missing family members, the banished sibling, the delusional mother, and the power-hungry brother leave no hope for what was a family. (557)